So I had to end someone's tenancy today and a friendship too.

"crazedclay: SBC murderer" (crazedclay) 04/03/2014 at 22:27 • Filed to: None

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18

So before the explanation and justification and all that drama horseshit, you should enjoy your wagon.

This turned into a very long rant. And I'm sorry for that.

They say your living space is a direct representation of your mental state. And that may be the case.

I had to kick my best friend of about six years out today. Like... Best friend as in I would have, up until a little while ago, taken a bullet for him. A fatal one. I've seen him through jobs, careers, a very unsuccessful attempt at military life. All those big life things that you usually see someone you care about through.

So anyhow, he and his girl split up a couple years ago, and he needed a place to stay. And I had a place he was able to stay in and afford. Hooray, synergy and getting along. And it's been good. We'd always had mutual interests.

And then I graduated college. And got a good job. And started not smoking and taking care of my health. Bought a nice car. Started enjoying the decent part of being late 20's and not broke as fuck. Doing everything that you should probably be doing in your mid-late 20's.

And that's when things started to fall apart.

He kind of stalled in his ways. Hasn't left his labourer mentality. Spends all his money on cigarettes and god knows what, has to do payday loans bi weekly to stay afloat. But, at some point, I did too. I just outgrew it. He's still living like he's 18 at 28.

Anyhow

In the two years he has been here he hasn't used the kitchen once, eats nothing but takeout, and has been showering about once a month and I am not even being hyperbolic. He did laundry and there was a scum on the inside of the washer.

He is failing as a human being. And I have tried and tried and tried to get him help, set him up with opportunities, and be the best damn supportive friend I can be. But one of us has grown up and the other has not.

This is our house. Rather, MY house.

These were taken today.

The common area in the house. I take care of this. I try and keep it nice. Nothing special. Things are a little dated, but I don't see the benefit in paying more for newer crap that falls apart before the buy now pay later kicks in on new stuff. But whatever. You see that it's clean, well taken care of, and relatively unobtrusive. This is how my life is.

This was also taken today. He left his room open. This was the breaking point for me.

It actually smells, legitimately, like death's asshole.

You can only put up with so much and be nice to friends for so long before you cease to consider them friends and cease to consider them worth the effort.

So someone gets to live in a cx-5 down by the river, I guess. And I guess it sure as fuck aint me.

Wonder how he'll do when he realizes that in the real world, rent isn't 350 plus a third of utilities, and usually comes in at 1200 STARTING for a shitty bachelor in a shitty part of town.

My last text to him:

Let me go first. You don't shower for weeks at a time. Your room smells like you are storing dead bodies under a heat lamp. You wear the same clothing for the same weeks on end in which you don't shower. You have no respect for the other members of the household in terms of keeping your space anywhere near human levels of acceptable. Doesn't matter if we don't see it... It... Smells... Awful.

On a personal level, you think your shit don't stink and constantly talk down others behind their backs. Make fun of their decisions. Make fun of their likes. Call them idiots. You wouldn't so much as have the balls to do it to their faces either. And when you go around talking behind people's backs, the people you talk to begin to assume you do the same to them while talking to others.

Further. You are not always right. You are very fallible. Your decisions and opinions perhaps carry less objective truth than you think they do. Must cost an awful lot to heat a glass house big enough to store that ego of yours in the winter buddy.

On another level, all I have ever done is been supportive as hell regarding your projects and hobbies. And I don't see very much in return. You don't even answer my texts or acknowledge what I talk about when we are face to face. Just glaze over it and start yapping about photography like I didn't even speak.

Enjoy your perpetual childhood.

Second star to the right and straight on till morning, buddy

I guess in the end, we didn't have much of a friendship left to throw away.

48 Spoons > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:35

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It happens. Some people just never outgrow HS/college and if you have, its hard to deal with them. Maybe this will be the wake up call he need.

Nibby > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:36

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Wow, yikes! Good on you to kick him out. Hopefully he'll learn from his mistakes in the future.

Also, is it too late to send him this?

Sn210 > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:36

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shit dude, that sucks

Sounds like you could use a wagon too

therevengeofthesaab (really likes pre-2005 hondas right now) > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:37

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No Offense or anything, but I am very confused why people tell issues from their personal life.

Ducky > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:37

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i don't know what to tell you other than that really sucks and I'm glad i'm just reading this post on the internet.

good luck dude.

scoob > therevengeofthesaab (really likes pre-2005 hondas right now) 04/03/2014 at 22:39

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Because we must vent.

PushToStart > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:39

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Damn, sorry to hear that... But it definitely seems like you did what you had to do, and I definitely think you did the right thing for yourself and your life. Maybe if he gets his shit together theres a chance that maybe he'll realize that he was in the wrong and maybe you guys can be friends again, but I don't know him or how he'll react, I can just hope that it ends nicely like that, even if the chances are slim.

XJDano > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:39

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I Have a rental houseAnd reallyclose tokickingout my sister in law And her Boyfriend. She Has A Kid. ........... Mobile is sucking, right now. I'll post tomorrow.

scoob > Nibby 04/03/2014 at 22:40

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I might make this my cover photo on Facebook.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:47

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At work, I'm surrounded by individuals in a state of arrested development. It does indeed make it hard to focus and keep growing. It's mentally and emotionally stifling.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 22:55

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That...totally sucks. But ultimately good that you did what was right for you...it sounds like you've given the guy plenty of chances, and you've been more than reasonable. You can't own his problems.

Total drag though. Allow me to add another wagon to console you:

The Dummy Gummy > therevengeofthesaab (really likes pre-2005 hondas right now) 04/03/2014 at 23:19

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Color me confused on why you read it.

The Dummy Gummy > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 23:22

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Damn, that is tough. I honestly don't even know how some one lets their room get that way. I mean I wasn't always the spotless type (still not really, but definitely better), but damn that room was awful. I hope when he gets his life together you two can reconnect because it sucks that it all has to end.

On a side note, your pad looks sweet. I'm really digging your artwork and vinyl too. Sweet-lord at the size of that TV.

awe46m3zcp > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/03/2014 at 23:32

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On the bright side at least he's halfway used to homeless life... as far as hygiene goes. Weeks without showering? That's just gross.

desertdog5051 > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/04/2014 at 00:04

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Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. My son moved out west to be close to me and he had a "good" friend follow him. I paid the deposit on the apt. His "friend" proceeded to trash the place and cost me not only the deposit, but some $900 more. Some "friends" are not really friends.

Where have all the lightweights gone? > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/04/2014 at 02:53

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It sounds like you've done all you could do and have been a good friend through thick and thin. At some point, the gratitude has to be returned in some form in order to make it worthwhile.

My girlfriend has had some minor falling out with friends of hers from college. They stiffed her on a vacation, and she's ended up having to eat a deposit on a vacation house while they go somewhere else and slum it in a Travelodge in northern Michigan.

therevengeofthesaab (really likes pre-2005 hondas right now) > The Dummy Gummy 04/04/2014 at 16:33

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Because Volvo Station

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > crazedclay: SBC murderer 04/04/2014 at 19:04

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Things are a little dated, but I don't see the benefit in paying more for newer crap that falls apart before the buy now pay later kicks in on new stuff.

This is called having a personality. I try to keep old stuff around as well, if it's something I like and it's still in good, working condition. And I like to take care of my stuff so they can reach that state. My car, my watch, my TV, my videogame, all from 1995~1997. Gives them value, you know. :)

As for your friend's situation, that's a tough one. I mean, I can't even imagine not showering daily. Twice a day, when it's really hot. Letting go of personal hygiene and eating habits could be a sign of acute depression, same for regressing to a former stage of life, in this case emulating his early 20's, but it's probably just a (very) immature reaction to his breakup, from the way he acts towards others and the different life choices they've taken. Demeaning is a way to validate his regression, and to maybe get other people to follow him, instead of going on with life.